Monday, June 25, 2012
I took this picture because it hit me this weekend; I really need to be careful which paths I take today knowing one day she may want to walk in my footprints.... that's a lot of pressure!
The question I asked myself this weekend is tied to what could become one of my biggest fears if I am not careful, "what will the impacts of my footprints today be on my daughter's heart and life in the future.... " Will she see the kind of person she will strive to grow up to be? I certainly hope so. I want to be a role-model for her. I want to be the one she can share all of her dreams, fears, tears, and laughter with, and so much more...
I have always tried to be a good example for my nieces/nephews; however, they do not live with me day in/day out, so I have never felt this kind of pressure, knowing that every day my daughter is going to be watching my every move, what I say, how I react, etc....... it certainly makes one stop and really think about the person they are. That's exactly what I've done the last couple of days... reflected on the person I am today. I can certainly admit I may not have always done the right things in my past, but thank God that's why they call it "the past". All I can do is ask for forgiveness and strive not to make the same mistakes again. I wish everyone was that way. Unfortunately, I know we all know a few people who can't seem to let go of the past nor admit when they're wrong and it makes it so hard to move forward. I'm sure, if you're honest, each one of you reading this have done or said something you wish you wouldn't have and that you could take it back. I recall my Grandma Story once told me, "be careful what you say, because words spoken can never be taken back". Boy, isn't that the truth. Same way with your actions - once you do it you can't undo it. I've learned over the last decade that actions speak louder than words. They can also hurt more than words. Sometimes it's what's not said that speaks volumes. Why is that so hard for some to understand?
Which is why not only do I have to be careful of my own footprints, but also whom I expose my daughter to. I know I may not always be able to shelter her from the storms, but I can certainly make sure she has the right equipment to protect herself when I'm not around. With everything I do for her now and with her, I remind myself that Her foundation today will be what she will stand on tomorrow.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
I've always tried to live by the "Golden-Rule" (do unto others as you would have them do unto you); and although I'm human and have fallen short from time to time, I can honestly say I'm proud of who I am and what I stand for. We are proudly teaching our daughter to put God first in her life. We want that to be her foundation that she makes all of her decisions on and where she draws her strength from.
Whereas there is a laundry list of things I want to teach her, two other things that are of the utmost importance for me is, 1) to not hold a grudge 2) forgive quickly. I personally know wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness; and in the end if you don't forgive and move on, ultimately you are the one that sacrifices the most. I want to teach Alexis that forgiveness is a noble thing. I certainly do not want her to be a door-mat, nor arrogant, but I want her to learn that forgiveness is for her own peace of mind and not others. I once had a very special person tell me that "forgiveness doesn’t mean you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, nor forget the act, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong, but you can forgive the person without excusing the act. It simply means that you do not carry the burden and ultimately carry a grudge over it". Those can become heavy fast. I believe that's pretty sound advice to pass on. I know it has allowed me to rise above those who have hurt me; and it's also made me sadly realize that sometimes you have to simply cut ties and let go of those "anchors" in order to not sink with them, because some people simply cannot let go and forgive.
It's funny.... I often start these blogs with one intention in mind but never knowing how they will end. I just let me heart do the typing and today is evidence of that.... I guess in the end my hope is that they'll make sense & hopefully help you along the way too... (big smile).
Until next time.... please continue to pray for us....and we'll continue to keep you updated as we continue our amazing journey.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
|Daddy in waiting....|
|Daddy & Alexis, 6-17-12|
Yesterday we were faced with what we're going to call "a slight bump" in our journey. It started a few weeks back when a dear friend of mine brought it to our attention that Alexis had a semi-flat spot on the right side of her head. When we went in for a checkup with our family doctor we pointed it out.
Our doctor wanted to confirm the sutures were not closing prematurely. Something I did not know is an infant's skull is made up of six separate cranial bones (the frontal bone, the occipital bone, two parietal bones, and two temporal bones). These bones are held together by strong, fibrous, elastic tissues called cranial sutures. The sutures and fontanelles are needed for the infant's brain growth and development. So you can see where the need to address this sooner rather than later was critical.
|Dress-up in Mommy's pearls|
For a couple of months we had been meaning to go see Dr. Tjaden (IVF doctor) and his staff which helped make our dreams a reality.
|Alexis, Dr. Tjaden & Megan (RN)|
Remember a few blogs ago when we had to make that trip to Texas for a very sad, but special funeral; & Alexis decided to "burp" at the most inopportune time (just as they started playing Taps)? Well, we now have yet another embarrassing moment in time... just as Dr. Tjaden was holding her, loving her & coo'ing over her... she decides to not burp....but yep, you guessed it... she looked up at him with those big, beautiful, blue eyes, smiled that infamous gorgeous smile, and then passed gas... not once but twice!! God bless her little digestive tract it's all working just fine. I'm sure when she's all grown up - reading these, she'll so appreciate that I took it upon myself to share these "incidents" with everyone! One thing is for sure - there is never a dull moment with her! :))
Friday, June 8, 2012
(Thank you, Javonni... you'll never know how touching this scripture was for me...)
Guess overall, I said all of that to say this, never give up hope and never forget that we serve a mighty God who can make the unthinkable & impossible - Possible! There are two nail scared hands/feet and a pierced side that have made my today possible, and given me this life, so that I could have the opportunity to be a Mother to my girls (and all the babies that have gone on before us). So forever I will cherish the fact that God did find favor on this childless woman, despite my many flaws, and seen fit to give me a perfect daughter and loving husband so that I could have my family.
It's true...all good things come to those who wait!
Happy 3 Month Birthday, Alexis! Mommy loves you VERY much!!
P.S. Sorry this blog was so looonnnnggg... oh well, it just makes writing my book easier.... LOL!