I always write about how blessed I am or how good God is to me and my family, but I realized today I rarely give my husband the credit he deserves. This man is unbelievably strong, loving, kind and just plain amazing. He is a great husband and a wonderful Daddy. We will be married 23 years this coming August and although it hasn't always been hearts and roses....there have been some rough patches and rocky roads along the way - almost divorced after 5 years of marriage, but we never gave up. For that, I am so proud and grateful! I admit I haven't always been the easiest person to live with, but neither has he. We both have our flaws, but we've vowed that giving up is not an option!
It's so sad when you look at the divorce rate these days. The U.S. Census Bureau reported as of 2013, 65% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce within the first 11 years and reasons are "irreconcilable differences" or "incompatible." Don't get me wrong, I know there are certain circumstances that warrant divorce, but so many times people get divorced because they're just not willing to reflect on their own short-comings and make changes and sacrifices. The Bible clearly states that "a man is to leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one." (Genesis 2:24) It also says that "wives, submit to your own husband, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church..." (Ephesians 5:22-23) We have to understand that God designed the man to be the head of the home and that is how it is in our home NOW....it wasn't always that way - which is probably part of the reasons we had issues. However, as I've grown in the Lord and matured, I've learned that when we follow the instructions of the Bible and live as God designed, things are in alignment and there is less confusion and arguments. Now, that does not mean that you have to be a slave to one another. It simply means that you take care of one-another. I still have my own mind, I am still a very strong, capable woman that has my own opinions, but since I submitted my whole life over to Christ & do my best to live by the biblical instructions of God, it changed my perspective. I honor and respect my husband as the head of our home and we are a much stronger couple because of this. We are also trying hard to set that example for our daughter. I want her to know what it means to be strong and independent, but I also want her to witness what it means to be a Godly woman first (a Proverbs 31 Woman). If you hang out with us much you'll hear me say things to my daughter like, "we'll have to ask Daddy" or "let's see if Daddy approves of that outfit." I want her to know that he is the head of our home and those are just a couple of the ways I show her. I want him to have the honor and respect he deserves. God gave him to us and I am beyond thankful and know that we are truly blessed because of him!
Prime example of how hard-headed I can be. I've been so sick this last week and a couple of times we've argued because I wouldn't stop and take time to get better, or go to the doctor. I know he means well, but often I don't know how to stop! It wasn't until I just got so sick that I was having trouble taking a breath without feeling like my head and chest was going to explode that I finally scheduled a doctor's appointment. That's not setting a very good example for my daughter. However, Ryan (my husband) used his authority to send me to the basement and explained to Alexis that "Mommy is really sick and needs some rest so she can get better soon." Then he showed her through example of what it means to take care of me. Ladies, if you have a man like this, praise them, honor them, respect them, and love them unconditionally! They are a rare commodity that our world needs more of!!
If you're in a rocky marriage, I challenge you to stop and take a long, hard look at yourself first. Ask yourself if you're being a Godly wife, are you a submissive wife, are you both putting God first? If not, then pray that God will change your heart and actions. I'm not perfect and I have flaws, I am a sinner that is saved by the Grace of God. We're all a work-in-progress and we'll never be perfect. If you are single and praying for a Godly husband, I challenge you to pray that God will draw you closer to Him so you will know when He sends Mr. Right along. Never settle for less than what God has designed for you and know that you are worthy of a man like my Ryan (but you can't have my man!) big smile!! He's not perfect, and he has flaws too, but he's perfect for me and my daughter! I can't imaging life without him and I am forever grateful that God gave us the strength to go on and never give up!
As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blog - I pray you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life. Life is messy...thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty.""And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)