Sunday, February 28, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum....Godly Husbands & Fathers!

You know that moment when your heart is so full and proud and you realize that God has blessed you and your family so much that you could explode? That's the feeling I had this morning as my amazing husband walked out the door with our daughter's hand in his and they headed to church. I'm still sick so I did not go but watching them leave together made my heart so full! I realized then that I am blessed beyond imagination - again!

I always write about how blessed I am or how good God is to me and my family, but I realized today I rarely give my husband the credit he deserves. This man is unbelievably strong, loving, kind and just plain amazing. He is a great husband and a wonderful Daddy. We will be married 23 years this coming August and although it hasn't always been hearts and roses....there have been some rough patches and rocky roads along the way - almost divorced after 5 years of marriage, but we never gave up. For that, I am so proud and grateful! I admit I haven't always been the easiest person to live with, but neither has he. We both have our flaws, but we've vowed that giving up is not an option!

It's so sad when you look at the divorce rate these days. The U.S. Census Bureau reported as of 2013, 65% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce within the first 11 years and reasons are "irreconcilable differences" or "incompatible." Don't get me wrong, I know there are certain circumstances that warrant divorce, but so many times people get divorced because they're just not willing to reflect on their own short-comings and make changes and sacrifices. The Bible clearly states that "a man is to leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one." (Genesis 2:24) It also says that "wives, submit to your own husband, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church..." (Ephesians 5:22-23) We have to understand that God designed the man to be the head of the home and that is how it is in our home NOW....it wasn't always that way - which is probably part of the reasons we had issues. However, as I've grown in the Lord and matured, I've learned that when we follow the instructions of the Bible and live as God designed, things are in alignment and there is less confusion and arguments. Now, that does not mean that you have to be a slave to one another. It simply means that you take care of one-another. I still have my own mind, I am still a very strong, capable woman that has my own opinions, but since I submitted my whole life over to Christ & do my best to live by the biblical instructions of God, it changed my perspective. I honor and respect my husband as the head of our home and we are a much stronger couple because of this.  We are also trying hard to set that example for our daughter. I want her to know what it means to be strong and independent, but I also want her to witness what it means to be a Godly woman first (a Proverbs 31 Woman). If you hang out with us much you'll hear me say things to my daughter like, "we'll have to ask Daddy" or "let's see if Daddy approves of that outfit." I want her to know that he is the head of our home and those are just a couple of the ways I show her. I want him to have the honor and respect he deserves. God gave him to us and I am beyond thankful and know that we are truly blessed because of him!

Prime example of how hard-headed I can be. I've been so sick this last week and a couple of times we've argued because I wouldn't stop and take time to get better, or go to the doctor. I know he means well, but often I don't know how to stop! It wasn't until I just got so sick that I was having trouble taking a breath without feeling like my head and chest was going to explode that I finally scheduled a doctor's appointment. That's not setting a very good example for my daughter. However, Ryan (my husband) used his authority to send me to the basement and explained to Alexis that "Mommy is really sick and needs some rest so she can get better soon." Then he showed her through example of what it means to take care of me. Ladies, if you have a man like this, praise them, honor them, respect them, and love them unconditionally! They are a rare commodity that our world needs more of!!

If you're in a rocky marriage, I challenge you to stop and take a long, hard look at yourself first. Ask yourself if you're being a Godly wife, are you a submissive wife, are you both putting God first? If not, then pray that God will change your heart and actions. I'm not perfect and I have flaws, I am a sinner that is saved by the Grace of God. We're all a work-in-progress and we'll never be perfect. If you are single and praying for a Godly husband, I challenge you to pray that God will draw you closer to Him so you will know when He sends Mr. Right along. Never settle for less than what God has designed for you and know that you are worthy of a man like my Ryan (but you can't have my man!) big smile!!  He's not perfect, and he has flaws too, but he's perfect for me and my daughter! I can't imaging life without him and I am forever grateful that God gave us the strength to go on and never give up!

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blog - I pray you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life. Life is messy...thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum....A Call For Prayer!

 Main Place Youth

WOW! Have you ever had an evening that left you energized and speechless! That's always amazing when something leaves me speechless, especially seeing how I always seem to have something to say! :) Tonight I had the honor to sit in on a board meeting as a guest, meet some amazing young girls, and a board that has a heart for God and a desire to make a difference in the lives of others.

I have had the honor to sit on a board as the Advisory Counsel for a local non-profit organization that helped bring healing of restoration to families in need for the last few years. Tonight I had the honor to be a guest of a very like-mission organization. The crazy thing is....I did not even know it existed and it's literally less than 30 miles from my home in the little town of Kingman, Kansas. Main Place Youth is an awesome organization that specializes as a group home for young girls, ages 12-18 y/o, that are struggling and the best part is its founded on Christian principals. I typically do not miss church on Wednesday if I can help it - but this evening I just felt led to go at the request of a dear friend. What I realized after the first 15 minutes of the meeting is it was designed by God that I was there.

What breaks my heart is that more people don't know about it. I hope this blog will bring awareness as they are truly a unique home that is doing amazing things for our next generation. As I sat in the meeting I felt my heart grow heavier and heavier for this home. They are very frugal yet they do so much with so little. I want to beckon you all to bind in prayer with me that God will give this home more than they need, that He will help them to have an abundance and that finances will be of no worries at all. This little board is a mighty Godly board that is doing amazing things in the lives of these young girls.

It's proven that we live in a society that creates such confusion in the mind of our children. Promoting promiscuity and illicit immorality that causes self-esteem and lack of confidence issues in our young boys and girls. These young children are our next generation and they are the ones that will someday lead our world. If we do not intervene we are headed for turmoil like we've never seen. That's why I am beyond grateful for my church family (The Ark Church). Their main focus is on the kids! They have a vision for our youth and that's where it should be. We all should grab that vision and make it our personal mission to start with mentoring our own children and then reaching out and mentoring and helping other children around us.  Our children are suffering and we need to get back to our knees and take hold of the Hand of God until we get our children and country back. We've swung so far to the left on the moral pendulum that most don't even realize it because it's become such a norm in our society. The rest have just played the role of the ostrich and hid their heads in the sand hoping that one day they'll raise it and it will all be okay and everything will be right in the world. Well, let me just give you a "dose of truth serum".... It's not! That's not how it's going to happen. Until we wake up and take up the armor of God and get to battle on our knees we're going to be in for a rude awakening and more children are going to continue to be lost souls searching for anything and everything to fill their voids.

We have children fighting for their life, dying of overdoses and be sold as sex slaves all because we've lost touch with God. I don't care what religion you are - it's not about "religion." It's about getting a hold of the God that gave His only begotten Son so that we ALL may live and have life abundant. That means our children deserve a chance to live the best life they can. We have got to do something or something is going to happen that will shake this world like never before. We're already seeing it - but most just chose to ignore it if its not affecting you or right in your backyard.

If you want to help out and do something that will make an impact, I plead that you will get on your knees and pray - pray that God will intervene. Then, if you would like to make a donation to this wonderful charity click this link to access the donation page of the website.  No amount is too small.

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blog - I pray you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life. Life is messy...thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty." 
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)
Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum.... Getting Started & Getting Results!

Sometimes getting started is the hardest part of making changes.  You always read and hear people say, "the hardest step is the first step." While that's true, sometimes even after the first step we get 'stumped' if we don't know where we're going or what our ultimate plan is to ensure we reach our end-goal. That's what I'm finding is even harder, is developing a plan to keep me on track and then learning how to plan accordingly, think outside the box, manage my time and then be strategic in my approach.

Sometimes it may seem that there isn't enough time to do everything that you need to do. I know this is a problem for myself. What I've realized is, this can lead to a build up of stress. Chances are good that, at some time in your life, you've taken a time management class, read about it in books, and tried to use an electronic or paper-based day planner to organize, prioritize and schedule your day. How's that going for you? I know for me personally, it's overwhelming! I have an app for my family, Outlook Calendar for work, and a day planner for my side business. Yep, that's a little overkill and confusing because it's just not working! Which calendar do I add the impromptu meetings, board meetings, barrel races, etc.? Well, for me, I've been adding them to all three because my husband needs to know what's going on, I have to make adjustments to my work calendar when I have a board meeting or school event I need to attend, and oh yes, when was I going to add in exercise? Why, with this knowledge and these gadgets do I still feel like I can't get everything done I need to?

The answer is simple. Everything you ever learned about managing time is a complete waste of time because it doesn't work! Before you can even begin to manage time, you must learn what time is. The dictionary defines time as "the point or period at which things occur." Put simply, time is when stuff happens. There are two types of time: clock time and real time. In clock time there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. All time passes equally. In real time, all time is relative. Time flies or drags depending on what you're doing. To an adult, 2-hours at the tag office can feel like 4 years and yet our 4 year old child seems to have grown up in only 2 hours. The reason time management gadgets and systems don't work for me is that those systems are designed to manage clock time. I don't live in or even have access to clock time. I live in real time, a world in which all time flies when I'm having fun and drags when I'm working on things of no real interest.

Here's what I've learned... there are really only 3 ways to spend your time.... thoughts, conversations and actions. Regardless of the type of business you own, your work will be composed of those three things. As a Mommy, wife, daughter, Executive and Entrepreneur, I am frequently interrupted or pulled in several different directions. Since I cannot eliminate interruptions, I do get a say in how much time I spend on each one. While I still need to have some type of calendar or system to manage my day & time, and know where I'm supposed to be, I have consolidated my calendar to one. That's the first step to consolidating efforts that can be used to put towards an action that will lead to getting something done. Below is a quick list of 10 things I'm doing to gain better use of my conversations, thoughts and actions. Some are very fundamental and even elementary but I am noticing they are working:

1) Spending the last 30 minutes of my day to prepare for the upcoming day
2) Learning to say "no!"
3) Trying to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night
4) Devoting my entire focus to the task at hand. (This is extremely difficult since I'm constantly thinking about everything else that has to be done. Truth is, if I don't focus, I don't do it well).
5) Completing most important tasks first
6) Get an early start... "The early bird gets the worm"
7) Eliminate unimportant details that drag me down
8) Be conscientious of spending quality time with my daughter and husband daily
9) Leave a buffer-time between tasks to wrap up and prepare for the next item on my list
10) Spending quality time in prayer daily! This is the most important tip of all. If you are not spiritually renewed, you cannot be a positive influence on others!

Everyone is different. We all work at different paces and we all have different goals. Learning how to get started is one thing (and very important), but, if you fail to plan then your plan will fail.

Last, but certainly not least, DO NOT beat yourself up if you have to reset and restart your plan. Life is full of changes and often we have no control of the things that come our way...what we do have control of is our reaction! Be known for the one that can manage difficulty with dignity and think before you speak!

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blog - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life. Life is messy...thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!

"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty."

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Monday, February 22, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum..... Living Your Life Backwards!



These last few days have been so tough. For those of you that do not know, my "Pawpaw" (my Mother's Daddy) is very, very sick with cancer and my grandmother is sick with Dementia.  Thank goodness (once again) for amazing bosses that allowed me to drop everything and make a quick trip to Texas to see him and to let my sweet daughter get to see him and tell him, "Grandfather, I love you with all of my heartbeat." Those are precious memories I would not be able to share with you if it wasn't for them. Talked about "BLESSED!" I won't lie, (remember, this is all about the truth), a part of me was so very sad and angry that she has to witness all of this at such a young age, while another part of me was so rejoicing as her little voice expelled such large volumes of love for him. This is the man that I spent almost every day with and most every Summer's helping him at his farm from the time I was a little tot until I was 15 (when we moved from my hometown). It so saddens me to see him laying in such a helpless state but it is so refreshing to know that when he leaves this world his mansion in Heaven awaits him.

I'm abstaining myself from saying "he's dying" because I have an Aunt that told me this weekend to "stop saying that because he's not dead yet." Initially in that moment, when she said it, it really hit me and I probably frowned a little with confusion as I questioned my surrounding that included hospice nurses, morphine, family gathering in preparation to say their 'good-byes,' hospitals, a very sick grandfather that cannot keep anything down, etc...  But, what I realized shortly after (okay, a day later) is that she's right. He's not dying until he's dead. I know...you're probably thinking, "she's crazy!" Truth is... 'maybe a little' but that's not the point here. The point is, we often live our life as if we're dying! Why? Because that's how we're trained. I love listening to audio books while I drive (since 20% of my week is spent driving) and I heard an author (honestly cannot recall which one) say he heard a speaker once say that, "we spend our youth looking for ways to invest and become wealthy, but then when we get older, we spend our wealth trying to get our health back." That's really so true! I just wrote a blog a few weeks ago about "Failures." These are the same concept. I am only not healthy because I have 101 excuses like: I'm too busy and don't have the time to exercise or it's so expensive to eat healthy. Truth is, we make the time for what we WANT to make the time for. Even the Bible provides instructions about living healthy. "And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food." (Genesis 1:29)

I really do believe that we need to get back to the basics of life. We spend so much time on the "go" that most of us don't take the time to live our best life while we still can. For those of us that don't take care of our minds and bodies, you do realize that those are the exact traits we're passing down to our sons and daughters, right? Sure you do. I do. Yet, why is it so hard to make the needed changes? It's because of our priorities and lack of planning. I have started trying to make healthier choices, mostly in the evenings, but if my day is interrupted (which happens very often) then I revert back to "easy street."

Here's what I think we should start doing.... We need to start living our lives backwards. After spending several days with my Pawpaw, that is very sick and would give all of his wealth to have his health, I realized that life is so much more than convenience and taking the quick and easy road with my health. It's two-fold for me. 1) It's about living the life today that I want to be remembered for, not the day of my funeral. This really sunk in these last few days as we all sat around him and Granny and reminisced about our precious time with them. The memories that are sustaining us through these hard times. And, 2) In this life we spend so much time chasing big titles, fast cars (or in my case, fast horses) and big fat bank accounts in an effort to fulfill us. When in reality what we need to fulfill ourselves with we already have right before us. Our family and faith. In the end, that is what will be there and what we will be remembered by and what will see us leave this world and move into the Heavenly realm. In every room of my grandparents home you can find a Bible (used too, not just for decorations) and a testament to their faith. Every memory included something they relied on their Faith for.  That's what I want to teach my daughter. That's the legacy I want to be remembered for. When someone looks at me (especially my daughter and family, but others too) I want to INSPIRE them. I want someone to look at me and say, "Because of you I didn't give up." Can you imagine what our world would be like if we ALL lived like that? If we all truly cared enough to make a difference in others lives? I challenge you to try it. Just take the next 30 days and every day change ONE thing and do something inspiring and good for someone else. Then, I would love to hear from you and hear how your life has changed and how you have changed the lives of others. (You can email me at Candyebell@yahoo.com.)

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life. Life is messy...thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty." 
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)
Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Life Is Precious

 Today's a day me and my family could really use some prayers, pretty please. Today's tip: I'm so glad God never fails to love but we do. How often do we need to be reminded of our love for our family or spouse or children? Every day, minute, perhaps moment? We get so engulfed by our busy work life that our real priorities in life seem to slip away, or we let our emotions get the best of us, or we let little things get in our way - and that's just what the devil wants us to do, chip away at our precious time together. Many times, it's a small chip each day. How long will you wait? Remind yourself daily that we're all in this battle called the journey of life together. Love those around you and never take a moment for granted. Let disagreements go. After all, we're not loved because we're good. Love as Jesus does. Make memories and make today count. Have a blessed day!

Long ago the Lord said to Israel: "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." (Jeremiah 31:3)

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Live Your Life

'Life is not a race - but indeed a journey. Be Honest. Work Hard. Be Choosy. Say 'thank you', and 'great job' to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental ~ search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you inspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself ~ Plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment." -Bonnie L. Mohr

Monday, February 15, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum....Where's Your Confidence?


It's no secret that we live in a male-dominant world. I mean after-all, Adam was created first, right?  (Genesis 1:27).  However, God knew that Adam was incomplete - thus he created Eve! (Genesis 2:22) Do you see a common theme here...the woman "COMPLETES" everything. We were created in a fashion as to not compete with the male but to enhance him and make every situation better.  The corporate world is starting to identify with this same theory. Women leaders are emerging in the workplace like never before and we are holding important positions within company's, or even owning our own businesses, and we are making a difference. Now, that does not mean that there are not some women who should not be in leadership because they still tend to lead with emotions - but, that's not all bad as long as you can check your negative and insecure emotions at the door.

One of the things I see in the corporate world is a lack of confidence in women and it's not just because we live in a male dominant world - it's years of living with the stigma that a man is better in power than a woman. Well, that myth is slowly expiring.  Let me just give you a little 'boost of confidence' today... Life will not give you anything - You must go get what you desire!

My advice to you is to learn to make decisions based on the good senses the good Lord created you with. God made us unique individuals. We can multitask, carry the burdens of the world on our shoulders, and still make good sound business decisions. Some just don't realize that yet. It's perfectly fine to lead with our heart, but, we must remember to keep our emotions in check to not muddy the waters with our emotions.  So many women leaders before us have created the stigma that all women are emotional basket cases that can't separate intelligence from emotions. We have to step up and show the world our confidence through our capabilities.

We have a unique opportunity to take and destroyed the stigma surrounding women leaders. I have had the privilege of knowing and currently working with phenomenal entrepreneurial women who have made positive impacts and changes in the business world - all because they lead with confidence. They learned their product, they believed in their product, and they crafted a unique way of delivering it to the public, which provided them with an edge over most men that simply walk in "thinking" they knew what they were talking about. Now, let me make this real clear, most of my mentors throughout my professional career have been men and the reason I chose men is because there were no emotional ties. They were all about business, had a vision, and knew how to get to the next level. I took what I needed from them, inserted my wit and heart, and it's helped me to become an amazing leader today. 

If you're ever going to propel your career to the next level I encourage you to take a step back, if you're not where you desire to be in your career, and find what you're good at. Then, take that to the next level! But before you do that you have got to have confidence in who you are and what you're speaking or teaching on. This will be the myth buster that will create a following. Women have an innate ability to create a following if done correct. 


Let me tell you a little of how I got started. I started out just like most women (and some men) by being a waitress or waiter, who had a dream to be somebody important. At a young age I really didn't know what that looked like - I just knew that one day I wanted to make a difference in the lives of others.  In order to achieve your dreams you must know what your dreams are and what that looks like. You will be required to really soul search to find out what your vision is, what your passion is, what your desire is, what you want to teach the world, what you want to teach the next generation that you're raising. These are all really good questions to stop and ask yourself before you start your journey into the professional world. I've had the privilege of being approached by a few high school  students seeking my professional advice because of my tenure in the business world and the positions I've held, but mostly because of my leadership skills. I count this a great honor because it means that even the younger generation has taken notice of my own accomplishments. I tell them the same thing I just shared above - you must find your passion because it is true if you do what you love you never work a day in your life. And the other advice would be to never stop. When you fall or even stumble get back up. Being a great leader is being able to admit your own failures and imperfections and working on fixing them to strive to be better than the day before and admitting that all setbacks are simply building blocks to get you to where you want to be.

If there is something within you that you are insecure about - fix it! No one ever got to the top without making internal changes and blood, sweat and tears.  That's simply a fact! You have to extrude confidence and the best way to do that is to continue learning and growing. Marilyn Monroe put it best, "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." I love that quote because it's how I've chose to lead my life - I firmly believe that to be successful we have to be true to ourselves first! Truth is, men and women do not think alike. It's genetic, it's environmental, it's inevitable. However, it's not impossible.  I strive to live every day as a 'Proverbs 31 woman' and it's served me well. Live and lead with integrity and confidence yet humble enough to pass on the 'thank you's'  and give credit where credit is due. Remember, making it to the top is only half of the battle - staying there is the real challenge.

Here's the real truth behind being a woman leader in a male dominant world..... it's tough!! Women take longer to get ready physically and emotionally.  It's true that we require more than the male figures - I mean, after-all, we do wear make-up, nylons, etc., and it's more than 15 minutes for most women to get ready, period. But, don't let that discourage you from being an Awesome leader! Just know your limits, give yourself enough time to get prepared and don't hold grudges. 

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life.  Life is messy....thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Sunday, February 14, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum.... Living With Pain!

Do you ever wake up and think you're still dreaming? That's how I feel every morning when I get the honor and privilege of waking as the Mommy to this little Angel! Today was no different! But, what was different about today is that she gave me flowers and candy. But the look on her face when she gave me the gifts was priceless! She is so amazing.

Remember, this is "A Dose of Truth Serum" writing...so it continues....

As amazing as it was this morning, I cannot lie, I was a little sad in my heart. I took out Bridgette's gifts to put by her tree and as tears rolled down my cheeks I wished her a "Happy Heavenly Valentine's Day" (and all other 16 children in Heaven with her), then I returned to being Mommy to my living Angel.  I don't write about these things for sympathy. I decided to begin writing about these truths this year because I realize there are so many women and men out there that are hurting, that have experienced these same things my husband and I have, yet they are living a hidden emotional life. Some have no one to turn to, no one that will understand, and most don't even try, they just don't really understand unless they've been through the loss of children. Someone has to bridge the gap and let them know that they are not alone and that although the pain may never go away it does get better! But, it's a choice that has to be made - You have to wake up and keep living, even when you don't want to.

According to the Mayo Clinic, 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. There are roughly 4 million pregnancies reported annually - that's a lot of losses! A lot of these women end up with known fertility issues which prevent most them from having children naturally. That's the reason my husband and I had to eventually opt for In vitro fertilization (better known as IvF). We were actually one of the lucky ones. If memory serves me correct, there were 50 couples in our class, more than 1/2 (we were told) dropped out within the first few weeks, or (unfortunately) their IvF didn't take at all, and the rest were successful. I wish I had the actual numbers - but the reality is, it's a tough road to travel. The women are highly emotional, the men are walking on eggshells because their wives are on the edge and on fertility drugs that mess with their emotions (more than normal), and the overall raw emotions that are going on internally is just indescribable at best as they're watching $20k flow from their bank accounts with only a hope, prayer and dream - but no guarantee.

I share this "truth" because I still hurt and it's been almost 4 years and I do have an amazing daughter to hold and love and most don't even have that honor. Sadly, there are so many woman (many friends of mine) that will never have the joy of being a Mommy and it's heartbreaking! And for the rest, they just don't really understand the remnants and broken pieces that remain to be put back together or that is left behind after a loss.  I am fortunate, I have an amazing family, that most don't have, so I never walked this journey alone, although I can't tell you the times I did feel so alone. Before we had Alexis I ran from my hurt and pain, I was empty, I turned to alcohol, dove into my career and horses and even neglected my husband. But in the end my saving grace was finding my way back to Christ and making Jesus the center of my heart and life again. It wasn't easy, and the "talks" I still have with God are probably questionable to most 'Christians.' But, it's how I deal with it. I know that I am blessed and I don't take a day of Mommy-hood for granted, but it doesn't mean that I don't have a dull heartache that will never go away. It just eases with time as I find my strength in the Lord and as I battle to let the scars heal.

If you know of someone that has lost a child, whether it be to a miscarriage or a child of any age, don't judge them if you notice they change - be loving, supportive and for god's sake please don't say "everything happens for a reason." That's the quickest way to tick them off and make them just want to slap you! :) Change is inevitable and will happen - some take years to come back to a point of being able to function in every day life and others simply never return to the person they were before. Just love them through it!

Grief is a process and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's taken me 4 years to finally come to grips with losing Bridgette and to a point where I'm ready to purchase her headstone for her little grave. I'm not proud of that because my baby has only had a marker to note her resting place - but I just couldn't find what I wanted and every time I tried I broke! Strength has come back one day at a time and it's been a long road, but the greatest part of all is that I never quit getting up, getting dressed and showing up! After 17 losses I still managed to put one foot in front of the other and I'm proud of the person, Mommy and wife I am today - I'm FAR from perfect but I'm making progress! I've managed to continue to excel in my career, start a side business and still manage to keep my sanity (okay, 'most' of my sanity)....but it's been by Grace & Mercy!

Extend grace & mercy to those you meet - even if you don't know their story, don't prejudge -- just love! We're all fighting a battle - some just aren't as open and honest about it yet! As Glennon Melton says, "Life is Brutal. But it is also Beautiful. Life is Bruitful!" Wake up and enjoy today - for tomorrow's not guaranteed!!

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life.  Life is messy....thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Friday, February 12, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum.....Real Life Executive-Mommy Issues!


This whole "truth telling" is really working for me! But I have to admit, it's a little like Yoga without pants! I feel exposed at times but I also feel liberated to know that I'm not alone in my feelings and daily Mommy issues! :) I feel so blessed to have received the emails as people are reading my blogs. One, because people are really reading them, and two, because people are really relating and getting something from them.

I had a pain singe through me this morning as I was leaving work. It was a stabbing pain in my heart as my daughter said to me, "Mommy, are you going to work today?" My reply: "Yes, darling, Mommy has to go to work today." With sad eyes she said, "Why?" I replied (before thinking) "because we have to pay the bills." If only I could have snapped a picture of her face at that very moment I would have probably won a prize for most confused look on a toddler's face. It hit me, as she continued to quiz me, that she has no concept of bills, responsibilities, work ethic, or life as a whole.  She lives in a pretend fairy-tale daily where her main goal is to torment the cat and dog and make them have tea parties with her or whether or not she gets to go visit Auntie that day! We go through these questions most every morning but most mornings she cries, this morning we had been up early and were in her room playing when Daddy came home from work so she wasn't as emotional. I'm guessing it's because she was actually awake and we had some quality time together before I dashed out the door.

You see, that's usually what I'm doing... dashing! Dashing here....Dashing there...dashing everywhere; running like a chicken with my head cut off! (Squirrel!! And I wonder why I'm overweight - can't stick to a good planning/meal plan due to grab-n-go needs). By the way, "Squirrel" is a saying we use in my family when you're in the middle of a story and someone has a thought that they turn into a comment, totally digressing from the current conversation...very rarely to return.
Anyway, just as I'm grabbing my briefcase and purse this morning I hear Alex yell from the bedroom, "Mommy!!"
Me: "Yes"
Alex: "Mommy, are you leaving?"
Me: "Yes"
Alex: "Mommy, you can't leave, you have to give me another hug."
My heart ached with a mixture of emotions, joy that she wants my hugs, happiness that she's growing up and developing her own little self, yet pain that I know at any moment life can change and I may not be there or she won't - it's called fear, worry, and anxiety of a Mommy that knows the feeling of loss all too well. Many have asked about the "G18 Mommy" in my signature line. Alexis was our 18th child and only living one. So, you see, there is a fear that lives within me. A "What-if" that holds my mind captive most days. I try to ignore it and try to overcome it but I just can't seem to get rid of it completely.  Then I heard another Mommy (who has never buried a child) talking about her fears as a Mother and she has more than one living and I realized that it's just Mom's! We have a tendency to carry the weight of the burdens - especially the emotional ones. Guys, I don't mean to stereo-type, I know you have your own fears and anxiety, but if we're being truthful, 95% of you only worry about what's for dinner and where's the remote. (sorry, just had to ....laughing)

Truth is, there are very few men that stress like women do. God designed us differently for a reason.
I absolutely love this poem I found years ago and it always seen my own Mother and grandmothers in this light, but now I have a goal to be this same kind of Mother. #DreamingBig

When God Made Mothers
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scrape knee to a broken heart; and have six pairs of hands!"
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!" 
"And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked. The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing, even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word." 
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!" the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.  She already heals herself when she is sick and can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" Asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak" the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride." 
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything for this one. You even created the tear!"
The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you're wrong again, my friend. I created the woman, but she created the tear!"
As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life.  Life is messy....thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." *John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Thursday, February 11, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum... Simpler Times!


Who all remembers the 'simpler time?' You know, the ones where there were no cell phones, no iPads, no big screen TV's. This was my childhood. We lived such a simple life! We had a quaint little three bedroom home on a corner lot. It was just enough room to have a horse lot with a small barn, a shed for feed/tack/etc. and we lived everyday outside...even on the cold days. Of course, being from Texas we didn't really have "cold" days. Ahhh...the simple days!

What really made me start thinking about this today was the fact that although I am forever grateful to work for women that are flexible and completely understand the importance of being involved with our children's activities, I found myself reminiscing back on my own childhood days as I sat and watched my daughter interact at pre-k today and all the gifts that flowed into the classroom from carnations to bears and balloons for these little 3 & 4 year old kiddos. I thought, "what are we teaching our children?" I mean, yes, I remember getting flowers and gifts from my parents throughout my childhood but were they really this extravagant? No! We got a small box of those coated mints that came in the pink boxes with writing on them in the shape of hearts...does anyone else remember those? And, we got valentine cards to hand out to our classmates but we didn't get necklaces, bears, mylar balloons, etc. And, yes, I was 'one of those parents' that had gifts delivered to her daughter today! My excuse is...."she is an only child and I can afford it so why not." Right? I mean isn't that what started all of this writing to begin with? I did not have a second thought when I picked up that phone and placed the order for delivery. But, deep down inside I just knew other parents were going to do the same thing and I was NOT going to let my baby girl be left out! And she wasn't!

During my reminiscing today I remembered my first "video game"...it was an Atari.  Yep! Just dated myself... Oh, and I have a quick confession...couple of days ago, in one of my blogs I referenced myself as "approaching 44 years." Well, my sweet husband was reading it and said, "babe, I'm not trying to nick-pick your writing, but, you do know you're going to be 43 this year NOT 44, right?" Instantly, I just start laughing! Anyway, just wanted to clear that up.... Anywhoo.... does anyone else remember those...and oh when we got our used Nintendo - oh yea....we were BIG TIME! But, I really don't remember playing either of them much. I do remember all of the other fun stuff we got to do and how we had horses, and we had bikes, and we had musical instruments, and we certainly weren't deprived, but neither did we sit inside in front of the TV either.

I was curious so I looked up a few things. Statistics reports reveal that as of December 2015 the average age of a child that gets a smartphone is 11! Eleven!! If my memory was really great I probably couldn't really tell you what I was doing at age 11, but I do know it was not anything on a 'smart device.' I spent my afternoons and weekends with my Papa at the farm. He would make a special trip to town just to pick me up from school so I could go back and work with him on the farm. Those were the good days! Pulling sand burrs (those are horrible grass stickers) and calves and building fences, and maybe, just maybe, driving the tractor across the railroad tracks and through the fence....it was a mechanical issue! (laugh) Or with my Daddy riding horses, going to play-days, jumping on my trampoline, riding bikes or playing with my friends - outside! But seriously, age 11 and they're getting phones. Statistics also report that 77% of kids ages 12-17 have a smartphone and over 30% experience 'cyber-bullying; and 'sexting' before the age of 13! Seriously!! In my days, if you bullied someone it was because you didn't let them play with your group on the playground! And we wonder what's wrong with our culture and kids now days.

Truth is, I'm just as guilty too! My almost 4 year old daughter plays with my cell phone, iPad, tablet and she has her own V-Tech game tablet, so I'm not passing judgment on any other parent. Remember, this is 'a dose of truth serum' from my own parenting experiences, life lessons in general, and things I'm feeling guilty about! I decided that I was going to write the truth all year...going to share my own short-comings and daily issues in hopes that others will realize that regardless of what status you may carry in this world, house you live in, car you drive, we all have the same problem. What we do to fix them is instrumental in fixing the next generation. I'm not saying you shouldn't give your children smartphones & devices - clearly we live in a world that technology is dominant and that is just the way it is...and trust me, I know it's only going to get more and more 'techy' before it's all said and done. I guess I'm just struggling with that balance. I mean clearly I am using a laptop right now to write this blog and without technology you would not get to read it. I would have to sit down and actually write a letter to all of my family and friends and they would be the only ones that got the absolute pleasure of reading my wonderful blogs (that was written with complete sarcasm)! But how many people actually still open their Bible's? No, not the ones on your phones.  I mean the actual book! I have two on my night stand, one in my car and another in my briefcase. But I usually use the Bible App on my iPhone or iPad. It's clearly just the world we live in. And, if I decided I was going to take a stand...you know, be one of those Mom's that was going to try and teach my child the simpler things of life - she would probably get ridiculed and bullied. It's like a double-edged-sword! You just almost can't win for losing....at least that's how I feel.

But, I want my daughter to enjoy life! I want her to not want for anything. I want her to experience life on the playground, on the back of a horse, hunting with Daddy, or just anything outdoors... then it hit me.. Ryan and I will get to determine how she is raised...and oh Lord, I pray we do it right! She may not want anything to do with the outdoors...maybe she'll take up crafting....nah! that's not in our blood....

My point is, I'm by far the furthest from a parenting expert, but I am a Mom that loves her daughter with all of her heart and it is my job to teach her, love her, and be here for her to celebrate the wins and coach her through the losses because life will most definitely bring all of those things... I would love to hear others opinions on how you're doing it... how do you balance work/life? How do you teach them and how much time do you allow them to be on the smart devices and for how long?

Here's what I'm committing to do as a parent this year...
1) Love my daughter unconditionally (hey, I just wrote a blog about setting ourselves up for failure, so I'm starting with something easy that I KNOW I can accomplish)! (Smile)
2) Read the Bible with her daily (yes, I do this, but not regularly so it's a real goal).
3) Take time to play with her everyday! And, not on any electronic device.
4) Change how I react to things in front of her... we don't realize how our own emotional outbursts impact our children until it's already done...and, once it's done you can't undo it!
5) Pray with her every night before we go to bed!

I'm only starting with 5! Why you ask? Well, for one, I just wrote on setting myself up for failure and I'm trying to take my own advice. I want to set small tangible goals (you know, the way I teach my employees to start out with measurable things so you can have a sense of accomplishments and then push yourself to be bigger and better than the day before type of goals!). Then I will re-evaluate them in 30 days and add to them or take away and modify. I think we have to give ourselves a break as parents, we're not perfect, some of us only have one child so this really is our 'first rodeo' and we need to know that it's okay to make mistakes - but it's how we handle them that sets us apart from the rest!

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life.  Life is messy....thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." *John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum....Setting Yourself Up For Failures!


Have you ever had a dream of starting something new and the first day you immediately fail because you set yourself up for failure?

Okay, clearly none of us want to set ourselves up for failure - but the truth of the matter is - we do it ALL THE TIME! The more I think about this whole new "truth serum" writing I've started, I thought it would be nice to begin with something that is close to home for me....failure! We all experience it, most of us hide the emotions that are tied to it, and we never openly admit it. Yet, we all deal with it and it is a looming dull light that dangles around our own little aurora.

For instance, this year I decided it was "the year" I was going to get serious about losing weight. I have gained almost the whole 30 lbs I previously lost after having our daughters in 2012 and yet it has slowly crept back on...and clearly has nothing to do with the fact that I love pizza, Cheetos and mashed potatoes (of course not at the same time). (big smile)

Pre-AD (Alexis days), I used to get up early in the mornings (4:30 a.m. - 5:00 a.m.) and work out. I rode several head of horses (again, not all at the same time) and was very active. However, as I look back, I realize I always had a weight problem and an eating disorder. I never made healthy choices. I was lazy about it! Yes, you read that correct, I was lazy!! I drank beer, wine and whiskey and did not give my health too much thought. During this time I still read my Bible and, oh yea, I smoked too! Now that's clearly a recipe for failure in SO many ways! Although I don't drink beer, wine and whiskey anymore - I do still have all of the other disabling bad habits and I still fight my weight!

I started the year by setting my alarm for 5:00 a.m. I thought, hey, if I'm going to do this then I'm going to just dive in and do it right! I'll get up early, before Alex wakes, get my workout in and I'll be showered and dressed before she ever wakes... Right? Right! Okay, I've pumped myself up, I've got a plan, right? I mean, after-all, I have decided on what time I will get up, I have set the alarm on my phone and I am ready to do this!!

Day 1: Alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. - oh, and I forgot to mention that I changed the "title" of my alarm to read, "NEW ME!" Okay, I'm all set!
I don't get up immediately, I mean it was after 12 midnight before I went to bed and I was a little tired. So I hit the snooze.... 8 minutes passed and OFF it goes again.... and I hit the snooze again. I think to myself, really I just need a few more minutes... by this time Alex is moving and clearly the constant alarm is waking her... I resume my cuddle position with her and back to sleep we go... I guess I did not realize there was a max number of times you could select the snooze option before the iPhone just magically knows that you're lazy and clearly not going to get out of bed. So, needless to say, day one = flop! No exercise!
Day 2: Repeat of day 1
Day 3: Repeat of day 2
Day 4: Repeat of day 3
Day 5: Repeat of day 4
Day 6: Repeat of day 5

.....are you getting the gist of how my "new me" resolution is shaping up...or not??!??!?!

Clearly, by the end of the first week I feel like a failure! Unbelievable! I cannot believe how I began beating myself up. I mean, clearly I wanted this, right? Right? Wrong! This wasn't just the way the first week went, but it was every week thereafter. Weeks passed and then I decided, "okay, I have got to get serious about this...I'm just continuing to gain weight." So, I reach out to a friend selling Xyngular and I buy it!! Yep!! This is it!! I'm going to take the magic pills and drink the magic formula!! Let me back up...I have to admit... there was a little hidden agenda within that purchase.. see I sell Rodan + Fields skincare products... LOVE THEM! Actually, probably one of the only things I AM consistent at doing (besides eating). But, I thought if I bought from her then she'd buy from me.... People... let me give you a little clue... don't ever do this... ANOTHER way to clearly set yourself up for failure and disappointment! If you want something, just buy it, but don't do it because you think you will get anything more than the purchased product in exchange.
Day 1: Took the pills, drank the shake - had something I wasn't supposed to (can't even remember what it was now...but something carb'y...)! But had almonds as a snack.
Day 2: Repeat of day 1
Day 3: Forgot the pills, forgot the shake, but had almonds as a snack.
Day 4: Repeat of day 2
Day 5: Forgot the pills, but drank the shake (yeah! progress!)
Day 6: Remembered the pills, drank the shake - but forgot to take the pills - had a cheeseburger!

(Can you tell I was informed that almonds were a healthy snack??)

Are you seeing my ongoing trend of setting yourself up for failure!! Here's the bad thing... the lady I bought the Xyngular from was even kind enough to OFFER to prepare my meals for me...help me plan or just outright go buy the stuff for me... If that doesn't scream Failure....sister I have no clue what does!

Here's my point...

Setting yourself up for failure is absolutely guaranteed if you aren't mentally READY to make changes! No matter how much you think you prepare, failure will always follow by disappointment if you're not really willing and ready to make the required changes necessary to reach your goals. This is not just for weight loss, it is the formula for everything you decide to do in your life: from reading the Bible in a year, having more work-life balance, being a better anything...Mom, wife, daughter, etc.. these all require dedication to change. Life is FULL of disappointments so why add to them if you can help or prevent it?? Start by making small subtle changes - get your mind acclimated to what it will take to be successful in whatever you do and then strive for progress and not perfection.

If you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14).  Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of Kings and Lord of Lords and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be but you do have to BE what makes you happy (within reason). Think about your health and being around for years to come...that's where my focus is now.  I am focusing on making healthier choices and my alarm is set for 6:00 a.m. with a new title "Be Who God Designed You To Be."
"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty." 
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"


Tuesday, February 9, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum.....Honesty & Reality! (February 8, 2016)


There's nothing worse than being away from my daughter or my husband, but I had the innate pleasure of attending a women's conference this past week with some amazing ladies I work with and those from our industry. I reconnected with old acquaintances, met new amazing ladies, and enjoyed some much needed quality time with my current peers. Directly following that conference we went into our executive retreat for the weekend. To say it was a long few days is an understatement but I want it to be clear that I'm not complaining, it's just hard being away from my family for more than an 10-12 hour work day.  

However, I can honestly say that this was the first weekend that I actually enjoyed myself and time, in a really long time - even though it wasn't with my family. And, honestly, I felt and feel guilty about that. The keynote speaker for the conference was Glennon Doyle Melton, author of the best selling book "Carry On, Warrior" and blog "Momastery." WOW! That's about all I can say, WOW! Okay, we all know that's not the truth! I always have a lot to say...thus the reason I decided to write a blog about my experience.

During the morning of the retreat, we listened to a speaker named Jay Pryor. He was interesting. At first I was wondering why in the world would they choose a male speaker for an all female conference. Then, he began speaking and sharing his story and how he was born a woman and began the process to transform to a man in 2001... If I'm being completely honest..at that point I felt my "religious radar" (for a lack of a better description and to really get my point across) go up and wondered what in the world could I possibly learn from this man and then I became very judgmental and had to check myself. Have you ever done that? I mean, honestly! None of us are judgmental, right? Right!!

What I learned about myself this past weekend was so enlightening and scary. I am approaching 44 years young and one would think that I would "know" myself by now...right? Wrong! We ALL are a work-in-progress daily if we're just honest about it. And honesty is what I've decided to write about going forward. I've spent my whole life searching and wondering who I am, who God designed me to be, what IS my purpose, and what am I supposed to be doing with my life. I truly thought once I became a Mother that all of those questions would be answered, but in truth, the questions only got bigger and became more relevant. I realize that I have a very small mini-me that I have to be a role model for and one that I have to teach to grow up to be a strong independent little lady in a very violent and unpredictable world; a world that is dominated by men and insecurities.

Jay was actually the perfect segueway into the keynote speaker (Glennon) and her presentation. They both spoke on honesty and truth about who you are, your own insecurities and flawed lives, and how we all live in a bubble of a made-up world at one point or another in our lives...or our whole lives. I definitely related. The first part of my childhood I lived in a pretend world while the second half of my childhood (my now) I feel like I'm trying to live a fairy-tale. I want perfection, I hold myself to a high standard of "now," and I am constantly judging my own success, failures, family, life and all other things and people around me.  I never said I was perfect; and I never claim to live a perfect life, but that doesn't mean that I don't want perfect. But in reality do any of us know what perfect looks like or do we live a perfect life? No! I don't care who you are, the answer is No!

This weekend reconfirmed what many have been saying for years that I need to write a book...... Soooo....this is my declaration that it is not just started but that I will complete it! I've "started" it a hundred times and get discouraged because I think, "who would even want to read my book?" "who would actually buy it let alone read it?" If for no other reason, I am going to write it so every other hopeful Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, can have hope in knowing that you do not have to be perfect and that no matter what storm comes your way, Sunshine will eventually follow! I want to teach my daughter how to "unlock" her inner beauty and accept her just as God designed her and not have to worry about imperfections and what others think - but in a way where she is still humble and respectful toward others....this is going to be a hard, long journey...but I know it will be so rewarding and I'm definitely up for the challenge.

This is the first of many "truthful" blogs to come your way... I hope you'll enjoy them...but more importantly I hope you'll be able to relate and take something magnificent away from them to make your imperfect life more lovable!

"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty."

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"