To all the Mama's…. You Are Not Alone! I see you!

With the kiddos returning to school in the next week or so for most of us, I thought it was timely to publish a blog. A simple reminder for all of us Mama’s that are overwhelmed with the chaos and emotions.

The past few days have been nothing like I expected; they've truly been a whirlwind. But let's be honest—I'm not alone in this, and neither are you. We all face challenges that are tough to admit, and many of us avoid those difficult conversations. It’s human nature. I know you're going through similar struggles, and it's time we start having the hard conversations and being honest with ourselves and others.

It’s time we stop hiding behind the facade of who we think everyone wants us to be and start being who God designed us to be. We are warriors in our own ways. We are fighting battles that no one may know about, and we are all just doing our best to survive. Let’s start by lifting each other up instead breaking them down.

As moms, we’re all on the same journey. It might look different from the outside, but deep down, we're all facing similar battles. Some are harder or bigger than others, but in the end, we're all just trying to keep our heads above water and keep our kids safe and it's so important to know that we're not isolated.

I see you. God sees you. He knows the struggles you are facing. We may feel alone, stranded on an island waiting for someone to rescue us, but help is closer than we think. Rest assured, other Mama’s are dealing with the same insecurities, the same laundry piles, and the same dirty dishes. You. Are. Not. Alone.

Shifting gears, let’s talk about the hard truth regarding "mom friendships." We all need them. We know we need them, but there’s this unspoken tension when it comes to making mom friends. Let's be real—making mom friends is hard. It’s not just about forming these friendships; it’s also about maintaining them once you become a mom. There, I said it. You don’t have to agree out loud, but I know you’ve been where I’ve been—in denial, afraid to speak the truth.

When I watch my own child making friends and the ups and downs she goes through, I realize that it has always been challenging, but when you become a wife and mom, it gets a million times harder. Just like our children, we know we need support, but our pride often gets in the way. We don’t want others to see our messy homes, our insecurities, or our failures.

The truth is, we’re all the same.

We’re not that different from one another. It’s never easy to put ourselves out there—it wasn’t easy when we were pre-teens or teenagers, and it’s certainly not easier as adult moms. We understand the need for support on a whole new level, but it’s still hard to take that first step.

Being the new mom in a group can feel like being back in high school, with awkward glances and whispers making you want to retreat. I know, I’ve been there. I bet you have too. Maybe we’ve even been the mom doing the whispering, without realizing it. But here’s something to remember, you weren’t meant to fit into every group, and you won’t click with every mom—and that’s okay.

Alexis and I have been tremendously blessed with some of the best friends ever, by God's grace. I realize that while some friendships will come naturally, others will take time or even fade away. Some friendships last for the long haul (which is rare), while others weave in and out of your life for different reasons. But once we understand that God has a purpose for our friendships, we begin to appreciate how truly sweet they can be. They can bless our lives with truth and understanding, offering wisdom and encouragement—a beacon of hope we so desperately need on this journey of motherhood.

God has a lot to say about relationships, and we can find countless examples throughout Scripture. Knowing that our God is love, these stories show His compassion for us and His deep care for our fellowship with others, especially fellow believers.

His Word gives us a clear structure for navigating our relationships:

• First, seek God with all your heart, soul, and might – Deuteronomy 6:4
• Then, be faithful to your spouse – Ephesians 5:21-33
• Next, raise your children to fear the Lord – Proverbs 22:6
• Follow by honoring your parents – Ephesians 6:1-3
• Finally, foster and grow friendships – Proverbs 27:9

Friendships are a source of growth and accountability. They help us connect more intimately with God, remind us of our covenant with our spouse, and encourage us as parents. True friends understand their place, respect boundaries, and recognize the balance in our lives.

Unfortunately, the world doesn’t always embrace this hierarchy of relationships. We see this in broken homes and painful, sinful relationships—including friendships—that are falling apart around us. We also witness this in the brokenness of how kids connect with one another - other their lack of connecting because they are mimicking what they are exposed to at home. But thankfully, God guides us and offers freedom from unhealthy relationships. This freedom is found in being covered by Jesus and allowing our relationships to follow His example. 

From one struggling Mama to another, be authentic and lead and teach our children to love like Jesus commands. 

Jesus’ commandment is simple: Love each other as I have loved you (John 15:12).

While we can’t love perfectly like Jesus, we can strive to reflect His love—choosing to see others the way He does, with a servant's heart, showing kindness, speaking truth, and offering grace wrapped in forgiveness. When it comes to mom friendships, though they may be hard to find, if we start by being the kind of friend we wish for, God will bring us the kind of friends we need.

With all that said, I leave you with this hard truth that I pray soaks into your heart and soul, and hopefully resonates so you can begin making positive changes so our children can follow our lead. 

Begin seeing other Mama’s the same way you want to be seen and if you have a true friend, let her know how much you appreciate and love her. She may need to hear it!

Stop judging others. Stop isolating yourself because you are afraid of what others may think or say. Stop judging other Mama’s who are just doing their best to make the day the best she knows how for her and her family. Stop thinking you are better than that Mama with her messy bun, wrinkled dress, half polished nails and exhausting written all over her face. They need us to show them what it means to be a true friend. We cannot let them down. 

As we embark on this next phase in our journey, another school year, I want to remind you to simply extend your hand to another Mama who may not be strong enough to admit they are drowning. Your challenge today is to let her know you see her and help her up and encourage her. Let your children see you for who you are so they know it is okay to face battles because we are all in this together. Stop being a bully. Stop teaching your children to be bullies. Teach them to love as Jesus did. 

After all, we are all just doing our best to keep everyone alive and fed and not end up in orange jumpsuits.

Your Sister In Christ,

Candye