Sunday, October 31, 2010

Relationships Are Fragile...

Relationships are fragile and we often take the ones we love for granted. We abuse them at times without even realizing it. It's always been said, "you hurt the ones you love the most." However, I honestly believe that is an excuse that we have all come to use and abuse. I know I have used it and I have heard close loved ones use it. But, I believe we need to stop using excuses and start putting into perspective the reality that often we get lazy and simply careless.

All too often we think we can get away with anything when we are with the people who love us; and a lot of times we do. A careless word; a negligent irrespectful act; simply laziness are all examples. While it is true that they will extend to us their utmost understanding, it is also true that they are but human beings after all, and will eventually grow tired and weary in trying to extend compassion and understanding to our "neglect and carelessness."

Carelessness and neglect can hurt a relationship more than intended slights or conscious arguments. However, they are often the burning bridge that create the carelessness and neglect. I've often wondered if relationships simply have their own life cycle. What I have realized is, it is up to us to tell how those phases of the cycle will occur. If we do not nurture the ones we love, care for them and take the time to develop them and keep them going, then the cycle will end all too soon. Same way with your relationship with God. If you do not nurture your relationship with God then how can you expect him to be there for you in your time of need.

I relate it to having a great performance horse. Your expectations of that horse is to perform at their maximum capabilities every trip out. You have to learn first that every great horse will have their moments of laziness and may even revert back to an old habit. But, you have to go back to the "foundations and basics" as a gentle reminder of what the expectations are, right? I mean, you wouldn't take a $30,000.00 performance horse and just because of one bad run throw him out to pasture and forget about him, right? No! You would take care of that animal, first checking to make certain there was no soreness or reasons for the way he just violated you out of a nice pay check. Would you be frustrated? Probably! Most likely you would even make a comment or two that could be hurtful or share your disappointment. But in the long-run, You would continue to nurture, train and care for that animal and keep trying. I mean, after all, you purchased that horse because you saw something great in him. Yes, your expectations were high, but you knew there would be a need to start off slow and develop and build a trusting/loving relationship with that animal.

Now, if your frustrations continue to grow, you may become careless and neglectful towards that animal. Your expectations are lowered and as a result if you do not take the time to maintain one and you run them into the ground, not feeding them properly and giving them all the nutrients they need to stay healthy and strong; then they will eventually stop performing and ultimately end up dying - just like a once healthy relationship. They too will give up. This is a bad combination.

When you first bought into your marriage or relationship, you seen something wonderful about that person. You seen a winner! You devoted to give your heart and soul to that relationship and vowed before God that you would honor, love, obey, cherish and protect, until death do you part. Well, now it's time for you to hold up your end of the bargain and do what you always expect out of them. Take care of and love one another. Nurture it and go back to the basics and the foundation and put the time and effort into maintaining the healthy balance required to stay a "winner" and healthy! Do not let laziness and others get in your way. Take time to balance out your relationship. Learn that the grass is not always greener on the other side....

Our relationship with God is just as important. It is the foundation to maintaining a healthy relationship with our spouse. Developing and devoting time to God is of the utmost importance as to learning how to develop your relationship with your spouse and loved ones. If you do not have a healthy foundation to grow from and to stand on then you cannot expect your relationships to be strong and healthy. You have to start with a daily walk with God learning his ways and striving to please him and not yourself. You have to learn to lean on God and not so much on your spouse or relationship for they too are weak and cannot bear the load at times. Learn to be an example for others and one that they will desire to have what you have.

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that
shall he also reap." (Galatians 6:7)
We must give God the respect that He requires and deserves. We need to learn to fear the Lord and obey his word. It is what will be the solid foundation of every aspect of our relationships. We need to get out of the ME mode and into the HIM mode. He knows what we're going through and sees what we are doing. We are not fooling Him.

Hopefully you will take care of your relationship first with God and then take care of what God has given you. Remember, it is much harder and costly to bring back a sick horse than it is to simply maintain a healthy one.