Well, it's been a long 14 days since we were wheeled into surgery to start this new chapter in our journey. It's never easy to sit in NICU but let me just tell you it is a blessing to look around and see what all God is doing. Our first family photo was taken the day we laid our little Bridgette to rest. It was such a hard day but we were so blessed to have such amazing support of the most wonderful family and friends surrounding us and helping us through the day. Little did we know that we would find such joy in a memorial service. I know it may sound crazy - but I think Bridgette would have been so proud if she could have seen such an amazing out-pouring of love and support offered on her behalf; and I believe Alexis will look back and be proud to see how we honored her baby sister. We're still in awe at the impact of such a little girl that no-one really got to meet, yet she touched the lives of so many in just a short while. I cannot lie, every day is hard - and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her and thank God for her. But I also know that God blessed our lives with another little angel, Alexis Elaine, and we are forever grateful for her. She is simply amazing. I would have never dreamed I could love someone so much but I do and it's beyond what words can ever explain or describe.
(Poem from the funeral)
Daddy please don't look so sad, momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
Please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's
my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window
pane. That's me in the summer showers; I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows,
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't look so sad and mommy please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!
A nurse in NICU told us that the blond streak in Alexis' hair is where an Angel kissed her. I told my husband, that's where Bridgette kissed her before she passed away & comforted her to let her know that she would be watching over her from above. It's hard not to cry as I write this blog but I think it's important to share our story so maybe it'll continue to touch others...
I'm sorry I have not been able to return everyones calls. The reception in NICU is not the greatest on my phone and sometimes I get texts or voice mails and sometimes I don't get them for a couple of days. I promise to let everyone know when we get to take our baby girl home and you're all more than welcome to come see us then.
As always, we'll keep you updated and all we ask is that you continue to keep us in your prayers.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10)
Ryan, Candye, Alexis (& Bridgette RIP 1/4/2012)