These last few days have been so tough. For those of you that do not know, my "Pawpaw" (my Mother's Daddy) is very, very sick with cancer and my grandmother is sick with Dementia. Thank goodness (once again) for amazing bosses that allowed me to drop everything and make a quick trip to Texas to see him and to let my sweet daughter get to see him and tell him, "Grandfather, I love you with all of my heartbeat." Those are precious memories I would not be able to share with you if it wasn't for them. Talked about "BLESSED!" I won't lie, (remember, this is all about the truth), a part of me was so very sad and angry that she has to witness all of this at such a young age, while another part of me was so rejoicing as her little voice expelled such large volumes of love for him. This is the man that I spent almost every day with and most every Summer's helping him at his farm from the time I was a little tot until I was 15 (when we moved from my hometown). It so saddens me to see him laying in such a helpless state but it is so refreshing to know that when he leaves this world his mansion in Heaven awaits him.
I'm abstaining myself from saying "he's dying" because I have an Aunt that told me this weekend to "stop saying that because he's not dead yet." Initially in that moment, when she said it, it really hit me and I probably frowned a little with confusion as I questioned my surrounding that included hospice nurses, morphine, family gathering in preparation to say their 'good-byes,' hospitals, a very sick grandfather that cannot keep anything down, etc... But, what I realized shortly after (okay, a day later) is that she's right. He's not dying until he's dead. I know...you're probably thinking, "she's crazy!" Truth is... 'maybe a little' but that's not the point here. The point is, we often live our life as if we're dying! Why? Because that's how we're trained. I love listening to audio books while I drive (since 20% of my week is spent driving) and I heard an author (honestly cannot recall which one) say he heard a speaker once say that, "we spend our youth looking for ways to invest and become wealthy, but then when we get older, we spend our wealth trying to get our health back." That's really so true! I just wrote a blog a few weeks ago about "Failures." These are the same concept. I am only not healthy because I have 101 excuses like: I'm too busy and don't have the time to exercise or it's so expensive to eat healthy. Truth is, we make the time for what we WANT to make the time for. Even the Bible provides instructions about living healthy. "And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food." (Genesis 1:29)
I really do believe that we need to get back to the basics of life. We spend so much time on the "go" that most of us don't take the time to live our best life while we still can. For those of us that don't take care of our minds and bodies, you do realize that those are the exact traits we're passing down to our sons and daughters, right? Sure you do. I do. Yet, why is it so hard to make the needed changes? It's because of our priorities and lack of planning. I have started trying to make healthier choices, mostly in the evenings, but if my day is interrupted (which happens very often) then I revert back to "easy street."
Here's what I think we should start doing.... We need to start living our lives backwards. After spending several days with my Pawpaw, that is very sick and would give all of his wealth to have his health, I realized that life is so much more than convenience and taking the quick and easy road with my health. It's two-fold for me. 1) It's about living the life today that I want to be remembered for, not the day of my funeral. This really sunk in these last few days as we all sat around him and Granny and reminisced about our precious time with them. The memories that are sustaining us through these hard times. And, 2) In this life we spend so much time chasing big titles, fast cars (or in my case, fast horses) and big fat bank accounts in an effort to fulfill us. When in reality what we need to fulfill ourselves with we already have right before us. Our family and faith. In the end, that is what will be there and what we will be remembered by and what will see us leave this world and move into the Heavenly realm. In every room of my grandparents home you can find a Bible (used too, not just for decorations) and a testament to their faith. Every memory included something they relied on their Faith for. That's what I want to teach my daughter. That's the legacy I want to be remembered for. When someone looks at me (especially my daughter and family, but others too) I want to INSPIRE them. I want someone to look at me and say, "Because of you I didn't give up." Can you imagine what our world would be like if we ALL lived like that? If we all truly cared enough to make a difference in others lives? I challenge you to try it. Just take the next 30 days and every day change ONE thing and do something inspiring and good for someone else. Then, I would love to hear from you and hear how your life has changed and how you have changed the lives of others. (You can email me at Candyebell@yahoo.com.)
As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life. Life is messy...thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)Blessings,