Have you ever had a dream of starting something new and the first day you immediately fail because you set yourself up for failure?
Okay, clearly none of us want to set ourselves up for failure - but the truth of the matter is - we do it ALL THE TIME! The more I think about this whole new "truth serum" writing I've started, I thought it would be nice to begin with something that is close to home for me....failure! We all experience it, most of us hide the emotions that are tied to it, and we never openly admit it. Yet, we all deal with it and it is a looming dull light that dangles around our own little aurora.
For instance, this year I decided it was "the year" I was going to get serious about losing weight. I have gained almost the whole 30 lbs I previously lost after having our daughters in 2012 and yet it has slowly crept back on...and clearly has nothing to do with the fact that I love pizza, Cheetos and mashed potatoes (of course not at the same time). (big smile)
Pre-AD (Alexis days), I used to get up early in the mornings (4:30 a.m. - 5:00 a.m.) and work out. I rode several head of horses (again, not all at the same time) and was very active. However, as I look back, I realize I always had a weight problem and an eating disorder. I never made healthy choices. I was lazy about it! Yes, you read that correct, I was lazy!! I drank beer, wine and whiskey and did not give my health too much thought. During this time I still read my Bible and, oh yea, I smoked too! Now that's clearly a recipe for failure in SO many ways! Although I don't drink beer, wine and whiskey anymore - I do still have all of the other disabling bad habits and I still fight my weight!
I started the year by setting my alarm for 5:00 a.m. I thought, hey, if I'm going to do this then I'm going to just dive in and do it right! I'll get up early, before Alex wakes, get my workout in and I'll be showered and dressed before she ever wakes... Right? Right! Okay, I've pumped myself up, I've got a plan, right? I mean, after-all, I have decided on what time I will get up, I have set the alarm on my phone and I am ready to do this!!
Day 1: Alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. - oh, and I forgot to mention that I changed the "title" of my alarm to read, "NEW ME!" Okay, I'm all set!
I don't get up immediately, I mean it was after 12 midnight before I went to bed and I was a little tired. So I hit the snooze.... 8 minutes passed and OFF it goes again.... and I hit the snooze again. I think to myself, really I just need a few more minutes... by this time Alex is moving and clearly the constant alarm is waking her... I resume my cuddle position with her and back to sleep we go... I guess I did not realize there was a max number of times you could select the snooze option before the iPhone just magically knows that you're lazy and clearly not going to get out of bed. So, needless to say, day one = flop! No exercise!
Day 2: Repeat of day 1
Day 3: Repeat of day 2
Day 4: Repeat of day 3
Day 5: Repeat of day 4
Day 6: Repeat of day 5
.....are you getting the gist of how my "new me" resolution is shaping up...or not??!??!?!
Clearly, by the end of the first week I feel like a failure! Unbelievable! I cannot believe how I began beating myself up. I mean, clearly I wanted this, right? Right? Wrong! This wasn't just the way the first week went, but it was every week thereafter. Weeks passed and then I decided, "okay, I have got to get serious about this...I'm just continuing to gain weight." So, I reach out to a friend selling Xyngular and I buy it!! Yep!! This is it!! I'm going to take the magic pills and drink the magic formula!! Let me back up...I have to admit... there was a little hidden agenda within that purchase.. see I sell Rodan + Fields skincare products... LOVE THEM! Actually, probably one of the only things I AM consistent at doing (besides eating). But, I thought if I bought from her then she'd buy from me.... People... let me give you a little clue... don't ever do this... ANOTHER way to clearly set yourself up for failure and disappointment! If you want something, just buy it, but don't do it because you think you will get anything more than the purchased product in exchange.
Day 1: Took the pills, drank the shake - had something I wasn't supposed to (can't even remember what it was now...but something carb'y...)! But had almonds as a snack.
Day 2: Repeat of day 1
Day 3: Forgot the pills, forgot the shake, but had almonds as a snack.
Day 4: Repeat of day 2
Day 5: Forgot the pills, but drank the shake (yeah! progress!)
Day 6: Remembered the pills, drank the shake - but forgot to take the pills - had a cheeseburger!
(Can you tell I was informed that almonds were a healthy snack??)
Are you seeing my ongoing trend of setting yourself up for failure!! Here's the bad thing... the lady I bought the Xyngular from was even kind enough to OFFER to prepare my meals for me...help me plan or just outright go buy the stuff for me... If that doesn't scream Failure....sister I have no clue what does!
Here's my point...
Setting yourself up for failure is absolutely guaranteed if you aren't mentally READY to make changes! No matter how much you think you prepare, failure will always follow by disappointment if you're not really willing and ready to make the required changes necessary to reach your goals. This is not just for weight loss, it is the formula for everything you decide to do in your life: from reading the Bible in a year, having more work-life balance, being a better anything...Mom, wife, daughter, etc.. these all require dedication to change. Life is FULL of disappointments so why add to them if you can help or prevent it?? Start by making small subtle changes - get your mind acclimated to what it will take to be successful in whatever you do and then strive for progress and not perfection.
If you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of Kings and Lord of Lords and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be but you do have to BE what makes you happy (within reason). Think about your health and being around for years to come...that's where my focus is now. I am focusing on making healthier choices and my alarm is set for 6:00 a.m. with a new title "Be Who God Designed You To Be."
"Pretty words aren't always true...and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)