Monday, February 15, 2016

A Dose of Truth Serum....Where's Your Confidence?


It's no secret that we live in a male-dominant world. I mean after-all, Adam was created first, right?  (Genesis 1:27).  However, God knew that Adam was incomplete - thus he created Eve! (Genesis 2:22) Do you see a common theme here...the woman "COMPLETES" everything. We were created in a fashion as to not compete with the male but to enhance him and make every situation better.  The corporate world is starting to identify with this same theory. Women leaders are emerging in the workplace like never before and we are holding important positions within company's, or even owning our own businesses, and we are making a difference. Now, that does not mean that there are not some women who should not be in leadership because they still tend to lead with emotions - but, that's not all bad as long as you can check your negative and insecure emotions at the door.

One of the things I see in the corporate world is a lack of confidence in women and it's not just because we live in a male dominant world - it's years of living with the stigma that a man is better in power than a woman. Well, that myth is slowly expiring.  Let me just give you a little 'boost of confidence' today... Life will not give you anything - You must go get what you desire!

My advice to you is to learn to make decisions based on the good senses the good Lord created you with. God made us unique individuals. We can multitask, carry the burdens of the world on our shoulders, and still make good sound business decisions. Some just don't realize that yet. It's perfectly fine to lead with our heart, but, we must remember to keep our emotions in check to not muddy the waters with our emotions.  So many women leaders before us have created the stigma that all women are emotional basket cases that can't separate intelligence from emotions. We have to step up and show the world our confidence through our capabilities.

We have a unique opportunity to take and destroyed the stigma surrounding women leaders. I have had the privilege of knowing and currently working with phenomenal entrepreneurial women who have made positive impacts and changes in the business world - all because they lead with confidence. They learned their product, they believed in their product, and they crafted a unique way of delivering it to the public, which provided them with an edge over most men that simply walk in "thinking" they knew what they were talking about. Now, let me make this real clear, most of my mentors throughout my professional career have been men and the reason I chose men is because there were no emotional ties. They were all about business, had a vision, and knew how to get to the next level. I took what I needed from them, inserted my wit and heart, and it's helped me to become an amazing leader today. 

If you're ever going to propel your career to the next level I encourage you to take a step back, if you're not where you desire to be in your career, and find what you're good at. Then, take that to the next level! But before you do that you have got to have confidence in who you are and what you're speaking or teaching on. This will be the myth buster that will create a following. Women have an innate ability to create a following if done correct. 


Let me tell you a little of how I got started. I started out just like most women (and some men) by being a waitress or waiter, who had a dream to be somebody important. At a young age I really didn't know what that looked like - I just knew that one day I wanted to make a difference in the lives of others.  In order to achieve your dreams you must know what your dreams are and what that looks like. You will be required to really soul search to find out what your vision is, what your passion is, what your desire is, what you want to teach the world, what you want to teach the next generation that you're raising. These are all really good questions to stop and ask yourself before you start your journey into the professional world. I've had the privilege of being approached by a few high school  students seeking my professional advice because of my tenure in the business world and the positions I've held, but mostly because of my leadership skills. I count this a great honor because it means that even the younger generation has taken notice of my own accomplishments. I tell them the same thing I just shared above - you must find your passion because it is true if you do what you love you never work a day in your life. And the other advice would be to never stop. When you fall or even stumble get back up. Being a great leader is being able to admit your own failures and imperfections and working on fixing them to strive to be better than the day before and admitting that all setbacks are simply building blocks to get you to where you want to be.

If there is something within you that you are insecure about - fix it! No one ever got to the top without making internal changes and blood, sweat and tears.  That's simply a fact! You have to extrude confidence and the best way to do that is to continue learning and growing. Marilyn Monroe put it best, "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." I love that quote because it's how I've chose to lead my life - I firmly believe that to be successful we have to be true to ourselves first! Truth is, men and women do not think alike. It's genetic, it's environmental, it's inevitable. However, it's not impossible.  I strive to live every day as a 'Proverbs 31 woman' and it's served me well. Live and lead with integrity and confidence yet humble enough to pass on the 'thank you's'  and give credit where credit is due. Remember, making it to the top is only half of the battle - staying there is the real challenge.

Here's the real truth behind being a woman leader in a male dominant world..... it's tough!! Women take longer to get ready physically and emotionally.  It's true that we require more than the male figures - I mean, after-all, we do wear make-up, nylons, etc., and it's more than 15 minutes for most women to get ready, period. But, don't let that discourage you from being an Awesome leader! Just know your limits, give yourself enough time to get prepared and don't hold grudges. 

As I said before, if you take nothing else away from my blogs - I pray that you will never forget that you are "wonderfully and fearfully made" (Psalm 139:14). Never forget that you are the son or daughter of the almighty King of King and that you do not have to "BE" what the world expects you to be, but you do have to be what makes you happy! Do something kind today, be nice to others, and respect those you interact with. Strive to make a difference in others lives, but more importantly make a difference in your own life.  Life is messy....thank God for Bounty paper towels, Grace & Mercy!
"Pretty words aren't always true....and true words aren't always pretty."
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Blessings,
Candye
"G18 Mommy"